I’m Due

Sometimes, I have a hard time believing in good things for myself. There’s a skeptic in me that just feels like the cards are about to fall and I’ll wake up from this dream.

The past few weeks have been very good to me. I’ve met and connected with many people thanks to the Runner’s World article and the Fast Women newsletter (support Alison on patreon!) It’s been truly wonderful and for the first week, it took all I had to enjoy it.

I couldn’t believe this was happening. Women from all over the world were messaging me, telling me what an impact the win had on them. Not just runners, but feminist magazines picked it up. My story was making a difference. How amazing is that?

I have a really positive outlook on life, however when so many good things happen, I cannot help but wonder if I’m due for a fall. Due for a bad race, a mediocre next few months.

After all, life is a balance right?

I tend to forget all the shit I went through to get to the good.

To be honest, before the wins and the article, I think I was due for something good.

My last season of ultras ended in a DNF and some major burnout. I was down on running and had a sprained ankle to boot. I spent the fall building up a steady training mileage and some speed work.

I was due for some good stuff. Winning Buffalo was wonderful. Winning Many On The Genny was great and reminded me that I love running long. Training with my team has made workouts even more fun. I have been blessed this summer.

Dammit I was due for some good stuff.

I’m done waiting for the other shoe to drop. It ain’t dropping, because every time I think something bad is happening, it leads to other opportunities. My life gets better, even through failure.

At the end of the day, I’m still me, I still love running and I would do it regardless of how I competed.

Movement, community, confidence.

Those things remain, no matter what the clock says or how I place.

We’re all due for some good, and I’m gonna go out and take it.