Race Report: Gorge Waterfalls 100k

Laying blissfully exhausted under the covers of a soft bed feels pretty great and I will try to not let that put rose colored glasses on my recap of the Gorge Waterfalls 100k. I don’t mean to say that this race went terribly for me. Not at all and I am happy with my performance. However I cannot omit all the times I looked for reasons to drop out and what a mentally challenging race it was for me just because I placed well.

I flew to Portland after spending a few days with my TC Elite teammate Riley Brady training in temperatures of 20 degrees. It was a wonderful way to spend my taper (or should I say our taper because Riley won the Naked Prussian marathon OUTRIGHT in the new CR of 3:26!!) and I felt very good both mentally and physically the week leading up to the race. I got an Airbnb with HollyAnn Swann, another one of my teammates who was also competing in the 100k. I felt relaxed in the days before and ready to go lining up at 5AM on Saturday to start. I was lucky enough to have Keely Henninger crew for me, along with Arden Young and Rachel Drake at the later aid stations. Having them there and experienced to know what to do when I got into aid was a game changer. Not only were they efficient and asked the right questions, but seeing them cheered me up. The aid stations were all about 10 miles apart which can seem like a long time.

The race went out and I found myself in no-mans-land earlier than I would have expected. HollyAnn took it out hot and was running faster than I felt comfortable with yet I also didn’t feel like slowing down to run with the pack behind me was necessary either. I knew they would catch up and I was cruising at my own pace. We were also in the dark so it was probably good not to talk to anyone and get distracted so we missed a flag. The first few miles are on a road which is about the only advantage I had on the course. Early miles in the dark seem to fly by and I spent them getting my trail feet used to the kind of jagged rock terrain that would be consistent on sections of the course.

I came into aid 1 at mile 8 in second place to HollyAnn but with Tara Fraga and Hannah Allgood right behind me. The clouds above began to dump some rain on us making conditions slippery but not unrunnable. During the next sections I ran with those two women and a few guys until I let them go as I navigated the PNW terrain as best I could. I knew the biggest climb of the day was coming at mile 15-20 and I decided to get over that mountain and then reassess my situation. I actually caught all but Hannnah on that climb and made it over relatively easily. I knew I wouldn’t see my crew again until mile 27 (yup, 20 miles is a long time) but was taking nutrition in well and outside of going to the bathroom twice was feeling pretty good. I rolled my ankle around mile 15 and it is swollen today but after a few minutes outside of being cautious it wasn’t bothersome…and that actually was bothersome.

At the mile 27 aid station I remember telling Keely “it is all mental from here on out”. I guess I expected my body to feel worse coming off Chuckanut just two weeks ago? Maybe I thought my ankle roll would get worse? I found myself starting the mental battle earlier than usual, much earlier. Usually if I have mental struggles (which thankfully I am usually pretty solid here) they occur after mile 45 or 50. Battling mental shit at mile 27…when my body felt FINE made for an interesting day. Honestly, I was looking for reasons to drop out. I have no idea why because I was having a good time and the course was beautiful. I think I expected to feel worse or to be running not as strong and falling deeper down the women’s race pecking order. I was waiting for it to happen and almost wishing it would so I’d have a reason to either stop working as hard or drop out.

But I couldn’t find a reason to do it…and that pissed me off. I was also pissed off for even thinking about this. I love running so much. I was excited and ready to be there. I was feeling fine and there was no place else I’d rather be. Why was I looking for a reason to stop rather than looking for ways to keep going?

To be honest, I have no idea. The more I thought about it the more I couldn’t stop myself from working as hard as I could. I would tell myself that I was going to drop at the next aid or that I was going to walk soon…and I couldn’t do it. Every low moment was followed by some wonderful running or a volunteer or media person would run with me and I picked right back up. Then I started to set micro goals like “just make it to mile 40, then you can quit” except mile 40 is in the middle of nowhere.

The biggest game changer was actually Tara Fraga. We began to run together out of the mile 37 aid station and it changed my whole race. I felt like I was inching forward and my race expectations became work hard to finish. Well it turns out that after 37 miles, most people are in a bit of a spot and just need to keep moving forward. Tara and I decided to work together to make it through. We ran together taking turns leading, not really talking but just being with each other. I’d never have thought that listening to someone breathe behind me could be so soothing but it was. The 10 miles we ran together helped me enjoy the present moment of a soft, runnable downhill or a beautiful view and it got me 10 more miles, leaving only 13. I was able to wrap my mind around an easy half marathon.

At mile 47 I got restocked from my crew…and Tara got a pacer, good old Kaytlyn Gerbin…so my buddy was gone. Climbing out of the aid station I had a few more lows and some tears trying to get up the hills. I found it hard to catch my breath because I was both upset (not at Tara, more at my dumbass for not dropping) and I honestly have no idea how I kept moving forward. Oh right, I would finally hit a nice rolling downhill section and try to enjoy that moment. Then I would do it again, and again and eat some food and keep working hard no matter how slow I felt or how I realized catching up was out of the question. I really focused on just enjoying the parts that felt good and getting through the ones that didn’t. Not glamorous but I wasn’t letting myself give up or walk it in. Some days that is necessary, but my body felt fine (or well, as fine as it could after 50 miles) and so I just pressed forward.

I made it to the final aid station and after learning there was only 5k to go, I took off and surged. I was ready to hit that road section and be done with the race. My last mile was 7:16 so I’d say it was time to cross under the arches and party with some Portland folks. I finished in 9:50 and HollyAnn finished right behind me in 9:55. Hannah took the win in 9:43 I think and Tara came in second about 3 minutes ahead of me.

The finish photo is not the elation of running all day, it shows the joy of someone ready to stop running and processing the mental battles, happy I had enough to get through 60 miles.

I was to thank the Trails Collective for sending HollyAnn and I out to represent the east coast. I want to thank On Running for the team support and amazing gear. The Cloudventure Peak was great on the rocky terrain! I also want to give a big shout out to GNARLY nutrition not only for sponsoring me but also being the on course nutrition. It was wonderful to have my tested drink at the aid stations and to meet the founder Eli and his partner Hala. What a wonderful crew!

Thank you also to Freetrail and Daybreak Racing for putting on such a great show! Seriously if y’all would like to watch my stuff perogies into my pants go find the videos on Instagram @sean.haworth