An Honest Look Into My Daily Life

Without judgement or defending my choices, I’ve been asked how I do what I do.

I have my hand in a few pots, and sometimes it seems like a lot.

Sometimes it is a lot, and I need a break.

But largely, I’ve been able to do what I do in a sustainable way accepting the ups and downs in both my training and my life.

I don’t do it all. I do what interests me at that point. Some areas lag, others flourish, and I try to flow in and out of them. I might put a project on hold for a while if other areas, like work or running, take more time. It’s my nature to change, and I have accepted that.

I also know when something feels more stressful than inspiring, it’s time to take a break for a while. Or it’s time to stop. Neither make me a quitter, it means I tried and the fit wasn’t right. This happens all the time.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve trended away from wishing I had another skill or talent that someone else has, and appreciating that thing in them. The thing about wishing you had what others do is it doesn’t appreciate all the work they’ve put into getting there.

It’s like wanting to be fast like Shalane, without training like her. Sure she’s gifted, but she also trains very hard. I’ve begun assessing whether I actually want what they have in terms of the work it takes to put into it.

Would it be cool to say I was a talented piano player? Maybe, but I have no interest in practicing for 10,000 hours nor playing at all. So I guess I don’t want that.

Would it be cool to have a million dollars? Maybe, but do I want to work all those hours to get it? Not right now, no. I save what I can and put away what I can, but what would I really do with a million dollars? I do the best I can with the money I have and am under no illusion that more green will make me happier.

After wishing I had more for the early part of my 20s, I realized there were simply things that I couldn’t hope to get, at least not in the near future. I instead decided to work on being content and fully enjoying what I have.

I have trended towards putting my time and energy into a few focused things that make me feel happy and fulfilled. I like training and running, both alone and sharing it with others. I enjoy talking about running and sharing my experience with others (Podcast). I enjoy hearing about other’s experiences and lives (YouTube Show). I enjoy interacting with people and food (my Job at CTB). I love the quiet and reading (books and articles). In this moment, I enjoy cooking and baking.

That last point is an interesting one because I am actively not trying to master cooking. I really don’t care if I am good at it. I simply enjoy doing it and eating the food I make with my own hands. This is one thing I am trying not to get overly into. I simply want to do it on my day off, and eat some tasty food. As I continue in my scone making journey (I’ll write about this later), I do want my scones to get better each time, but that’s simply because I know how I want my breakfast scone to be and I want to get there. Just so I can eat it, not to become a master scone baker.

When I look honestly into my days, I am filled with a sense of purpose and direction. I love running because I can always get better, but I also am reminded how important it is to respect my body. If I want to keep enjoying it, I need to maintain and listen to my boundaries. I enjoy my podcast because I love talking to Chris and nerding out about various things. My YouTube show has enhanced my ability to communicate and given me a look into runners I admire and respect. Books take me to fall off places or encourage me to look inward and constantly assess how I’m doing.

Awareness.

In my daily life I feel aware, I feel connected to myself. I feel content.

Honestly, that’s what I really want.

Today, at least.