50, not 40

A 50 mile race is not simply a 40 mile race with a victory lap. Theoretically at my level of fitness, I should be able to run 10 junk miles at the end of a 6 hour day of good running. Alas, it was not to be at the McDowell Mtn Frenzy.

About a month ago I jumped into a small Upstate NY 50k and it went very well. That race was my first ultra since Western States 2022 and came on the coattails of a year of frustrating niggles that seemed to pop up with an almost comical regularity. Though I still felt phantom pain the week before the event, the race itself I think I executed correctly and I stepped across the finish line in a new course record, besting my own record from 2016 and just a few minutes ahead of the second place female. Considering I hadn’t trained on trails or hills all summer, I could barely walk for the first three days post race, and was very happy to end the year there. 

However, a week later I was feeling completely recovered, the race had relit the competitive spark I had missed this past year, having completed only one race in 2023, the Leadville Marathon, last June. My coach and I began to think about the rest of the year and one of us brought up potentially fitting in one more honest effort. There are really two options that are relatively easy to get to from Boulder, and that would be suitable for my level of fitness, Brazos Bend or McDowell. The problem being Brazos is a 100k, which though I’ll admit I considered for a moment, Corrine had more a 50k distance in mind, which is also offered at McDowell. We chewed on it for a while and ultimately I decided that I wanted to attempt the 50M at the race that started my injury cycle last year. I knew it would be a long shot to run that far, that I probably had 35-40 good miles in my legs, not 50, but I wanted to try. I also believe that though I love training, there is a suffering that races have that I need to rebuild inside of me. I love running and do not do it to punish myself, however part of that happiness and joy is also that it sometimes comes with incredible pain and fatigue. I wanted to see what I had after the wheels came off.

And come off they certainly did. I had a wonderfully strong 40 miles, and then like clockwork, I ran out of gas, slogged to the finish, and because I cannot sleep after races due to migraines and pain, am writing this at 4:00AM while eating breakfast #1 before heading to catch an early flight. I am so grateful to the Araviapa Running Organization for letting me jump into this race last minute and to the RD Aaron for allowing me to stay in his guest room. I think I got the best sleep I’d ever had before the race. Also, I must note that my flights were all on time and I had no travel issues so thank you United. 

I’m not so good with mile to mile race reports, because the event flows together in my mind with certain things sticking out. The 11-18 mile flowy section from Granite Tank that felt so good I wanted to do another lap. The mountain at mile 30 that felt so easy going up (thanks Gold Hill and Amanda!!) yet going down that was the most difficult grade of descent I have ever experienced. Imagine getting to the top of a climb, getting to turn around and then the descent is so steep it actually isn’t much faster because you must break in order to not fall forward. The amount of Skratch super high carb and chews I ate before the wheels fell off and I ran out. The beautiful sunscapes and shadows of the desert making small cacti look like King Cobra snakes. 

The first 10 miles I jogged along trying to warm up and get into a groove. I started fueling earlier than usual using a concentrated drink mix from Skratch that I made into a thicker gel, and blueberry chews. I also drank pineapple hydration and water. I had a vest swap strategy where every 15-18 miles or so I would hit an aid and swap out the vest. Each vest had two 5oz pouches of 200 calories of super fuel, one packet of chews, one espresso gel and hydration. My later pack also had a bottle of recovery in it, that I did not drink because it was then I started to get sick whenever I ran or ate. This strategy worked marvelously for 40 miles, and really only stopped working when my body stopped wanting to go anymore. It seemed like after mile 40 my body was trying to do everything it could to get me to stop. In the first 40, I felt flowy and honestly not like I was ever pushing to an uncomfortably hot pace. I was just running. If the race was 40 miles I would have been fine. Even though I was running great for that long, it quickly took a turn when my fitness level caught up with the length of the race. I am simply not fit for a good 50 miles yet. That’s just the facts. 

At mile 42 I was caught by the eventual winner and then at mile 46 I was caught by my friend and co-podcast host Corinne Shalvoy, both of whom knew this race was 50 miles and not 40 miles. When I say that I struggled and clawed my way to the finish I am not being dramatic. I cannot remember a time in recent memory where running was that difficult to do. The ultra shuffle was barely registering in my legs, they wouldn’t move. Every time I ran I started to get sick and so I walked, tried to run, walked, tried to run, had a moment to catch my breath, tried to run, repeat. Even when I saw the finish line (you know when you see the end magically you have some energy to run it in?) I could not go faster. It was WILD and mission accomplished, I remembered how to suffer, and that 50 miles is a hell of a lot longer than. 40 miles.

Thankfully the fourth place woman ran out of real estate before she could catch me and I ended up in a very humbling 3rd place. What an incredible day! As I look at what today brings me, I am cackling inside because last year I limped through the Phoenix airport due to an injury I sustained at mile 6. This year I will once again limp through that same airport because I had the courage to try again. 

See you in 2024.