BEGINNER

I’m super glad I remembered my login information for Squarespace because for a moment there, this website wasn’t the first thing on my mind. Even with more time during the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic, I found myself pulled in other creative areas. Now with my free time I choose to read or spend time with my roommate.

Although the US is still amidst various national crises, a lingering pandemic, social unrest, an incompetent government, hurricane season and now an election season, my life has taken on a new normal. I feel content with my days through the unrest. My resilience lies in being able to balance these opposite feelings.

At the beginning of June I moved into a new, big apartment. I now share the top floor of a house with a wonderful woman who has become one great friend. I haven’t lived with anyone since 2017, and after that, though they weren’t bad people, I decided I wanted to live solo from now on. My introversion needs a quiet home environment where I don’t need to fill the silence.

However, I knew I wanted a bit more space. I wanted enough room to cook, lounge, sleep, eat and workout in separate rooms. I had the money to do so, and this came with a roommate. I’m so glad it did, that’s all I can say about it.

I have been consistently running through this uncertain time and believe I probably will not race again in 2020. I am at peace with that, it doesn’t feel safe nor responsible. I spend half my energy at work keeping people 6 feet apart, I cannot imagine going to a race and enjoying it socially distant. Racing means chasing people down. It means being together. I’ll wait for that opportunity again.

I began to work directly with Coach a few months ago. My body and mind began to want something different than the marathon grind, and it wasn’t ultras. It was short stuff.

The mile. The 5k. I mean short.

I had been putting in a good segment of mostly marathon base work and effort workouts for a few months when my teammates took off due to niggles. It was then I started working directly with Coach, and we continued on that path. Then, work got busier and a case of shingles told me I needed to take some down time and rest to absorb the training.

During the break Coach and I talked about goals and what interested me. I want to break myself of being a mileage marathon/ultra runner and try something completely knew. I want to learn how to go fast and train for a fast mile and 5k. I want to rest more, run less miles and do other work that challenges my body in a different way. That’s what I’ve been doing the past 2 weeks I’ve begun training.

30-40 minute easy runs.

Tons of core work.

Strength training sessions with little recovery between sets.

Hurdle drills.

I’m using my brain a lot more, at least I think I am, and the new is fun. It’s fresh.

I like being a beginner at things. I like being bad at things. It gives me somewhere to go. It helps me keep my ego in check. It teaches me more about my body, about what I like, about the hard things I can do. I can rest more and run less. I can spend more time each day in my gym rather than pounding the pavement. Being a beginner, treating myself as a beginner, encourages me to give myself grace.

Grace to fail. Grit to try. Wisdom to believe in Coach and that what he’s telling me to do will make me fast. and enjoying the hell out of the ride.