Golden Ticket

I am finding it a beautiful enigma to put into words what I am feeling on the inside right now. Of course I feel proud and satisfied with my golden ticket performance at Bandera yesterday, but a part of me is having trouble internalizing the achievement of something I did not really know I could accomplish. Running is a sport that enjoys correlated growth with effort and consistency. Besides the bliss I feel moving my body through space, I enjoy the general linear progress that happens when I train smart and am not hindered by injuries or illness. Though I believe even without results through speed or competition, I can find other markers of progress, I also recognize that there are many pieces that must come together on race day for success. Because of the rather large unknown, my training is done with consistent effort to maximize my chance of race day success if I also have some luck.

I do not believe I got personally lucky at Bandera yesterday. I do not believe I got lucky because I did not take any unnecessary risks that could jeopardize my chances. I ran smart and saved a few matches for the end in case I was in position to nab a podium spot. I took in my nutrition without second guessing it. I ran within myself instead of trying to stay with the pack of women ahead of me. I slowly moved up, got passed and then passed back when I caught up. I did not speed up when I knew how close I was to the second place female. I knew I had closed the gap running my correct pace, so that pace should get me closer if she did not speed up. When I passed, I still maintained the same pace until the last few miles which I knew burning my matches was a safer bet because I was almost done.

I did not look back or run scared. I did not give up. I represent the beast coast and we do not give up.

The race began in the rainy fog. I started in my lightest shell intending to drop it at mile ten when I saw my crew. I must immediately thank Ann and Bill Brady for being the most wonderful support crew I could ask for. The plan we came up with was to exchange my vests every ten miles, each time holding the same nutrition. I did one bottle of Tailwind, one bottle of water and three gels. I also had four gels in my shorts throughout the race. I took in one gel every 20-30 minutes plus drinking 200 calories or so of sports drink. In the second half of the race I mixed in pretzels, Pringles and pickles. This worked well enough and I only needed an extra bottle of water once which was a relatively quick stop at the aid station.
I chatted with a few runners leapfrogging with some of them but mostly staying with a group of six people in the first 20 miles. After mile 20 I ran with a woman named Meg (F4) for an hour or so eventually getting separated a bit before the 50k mark.

About a mile before the halfway point is when Leah Yingling (F3), caught and passed me with relative ease telling me how far ahead Maryann (F1) was. To be completely honest I thought I was much further back than that and hadn’t thought much about placement at that point. Approaching the 50k aid station, I knew I needed to change my shoes. The mud from the framing conditions had caked about 10 extra pounds onto my shoes and I was over carrying that. I switched into another pair of the Saucony MadRiver (my preferred shoe) and thankfully the trails had dried out for the second half. Taking this time was a gamechanger even though Leah put some minutes on me. I still wasn’t very focused on catching or being caught, but taking care of myself and running my own race. At one point Leah had 15 minutes on me, but I didn’t know so I wasn’t too worried about it. A went through a low right after 50k but it was nutrition related, so eating some baby food pouches picked my mood right back up. Seeing this part of the course in daylight was kind of neat! The foliage is so different from Upstate NY as was the trails. Very rocky yet runnable. I loved seeing the cactuses but they didn’t exactly love me back. I have a fair bit of Texan tattoos on my arms and legs. In fact, the blood on my knees are not from my knees…it’s from the scratches on my thighs dribbling down my legs all day. I think it’s beautiful.

Making my way around the second 50k loop wasn’t as slow going as I had imagined. Because my only other 100k experience was from Virgil Crest, which had much more distinct elevation, I figured I would walk a lot of the hills I ran up in the first half. This was not the case. I actually only walked twice on the same very steep descent about two miles from the finish, which is where Leah caught me in the first loop. I got to the last vest switch aid station with about ten miles to go. Ann (my crew) told me Leah and her pacer had left about a minute earlier asking about how far back I was. At this point I figured that if I was 15 minutes back at one point and was now only a minute back, I should simply continue the pace I was running at and I should catch her. I was also feeling like I had run over 50 miles at that point, so I wanted to be cautious with speeding up. About two miles later I saw them crest a hill expanse ahead of me. I still did not speed up but waited until I was close enough to pass decisively. I came into the last aid station about a minute ahead of her with less than five miles to go. Again I did not speed too much, I focused on what I needed to do, which was not give up and finish strong.

The last section was a rolling downhill so I took advantage of it and opened up. I knew I had that last hill climb to get over before I’d feel like I could speed up and burn my last match to finish. I increased my pace and told myself that this is what I’ve got and if she passed me then she deserved it. I simply focused on not giving up, on not leaving the pain cave until the race was done. I would not believe or focus on a golden ticket until I crossed under the arches.

Then, it was over. A man held up a large piece of paper that confirmed I had raced my way into the Super Bowl of ultrarunning. I cried a bit, hugged everyone and as I stated at the beginning of this post, am still in a state of wonder.

Apparently I will be running my first 100 mile race at the end of June. But first, a good month of downtime.

Thank you to Ian for everything he’s done for me and for the Trails Collective. I am so lucky to be surrounded by an incredibly supportive cast of Beast Coasters who have taught me how to be tough. Thank you to Ann and Bill Brady for encouraging me to do my best and filling my vest. I didn’t know how such a seemingly small thing could make such a difference. Thank you to Riley and David for spending the weekend in TX and racing with guts. I am truly in awe of you.