So...how's training going?

I love this question. It’s so classically runner-centric and connects the fastest track sprinters to the longest ultrarunners. I think what I like the most about it is that the question begins with small-talk, and can continue to be surface level for a long time if that is each person’s comfort level. However, it also has such potential to go deeper and bind each runner to each others’ experience.

The evolution of how I answer this question now compared to when I began in this sport is illuminating. It depends on the depth and quality I feel my training is, who I am talking to and if I feel confident enough to be vulnerable. Today I usually go with the value of honesty but when I was young in the sport I remember either making my training seem more impressive than it was (if talking to people I respect or want to compete with) or dulling what I was doing so I wouldn’t be labelled “crazy”.

These days, I trend toward telling my full truth, ups and downs included or omit details if I think I will either scare someone who is unfamiliar with my sport or cause that person to toxically compare themselves to me. Being able to do this effectively is a continual practice or learning to read the room and know not only who my audience is, but also what they are feeling in the moment. It’s one thing to share a great workout week with someone else who is receptively supportive or also in the thick of training. It is quite another to share the same information with the same person who is not in the mental state to receive it.

My friends and teammates love each other, but we’re also competitors and building trusting relationships takes work. I know I can tell my friend Chelsea anything about training including ups and downs, great workouts and long runs without affecting her confidence in her own running ability. She’s seen me dry heave on the side of the track. She’s seen me get injured. She’s seen me hit workouts and miss workouts. We have similar marathon PRs and would be near each other in races so rationally it would make sense for her to compare herself to me and possibly get jealous or down about her own performance in relation to mine if she was in a down spell. However, she does not do this (at least she lets the feelings go quickly if they come up) so out relationship can be vulnerable and open.

A different teammate of mine and I are in the beginning stages of our relationship. We are friends but have never trained together and have raced different distances at the same event. Right now, we are in different stages of fitness due to illness and recovery and such. For me to share a great week of training with them while knowing they are not feeling confident would not be the appropriate way to build a deeper relationship. In this case, I would be the asshole even if I didn’t mean to be. I honestly hope each person I compete against has had the best training and is very fit. I don’t want to lose or win against someone not on their A game. Therefore the training question is answered differently depending on audience and context, but always with honesty.

I will admit that answering this question does make me uncomfortable if things are good and I want to be honest. I fight the endless struggle of imposter syndrome and retain a history of being humble. I have felt uncomfortable talking about myself because I do not wish to brag. After I learned to communicate effectively I realized I can still be honest without bragging. The next development was conveying truth in a way that wouldn’t lead my audience to negatively compare themselves to me. The contemplation I have put forth to navigate this path is quite extensive. I wish I didn’t have to think about it, but alas in the digital age, someone is watching. I came to the realization that the best course of action was to take many steps back from various social media platforms and make the connections I have in real life go deeper. In doing this, I have slowly faded to the background of attention. My hope is that the negative comparison I may have caused just by posting what is true for me may fade as well. I will continue to live my truth and evolve, but not in the same way I have before.

What does this mean? It means that any person I consistently speak with on social media platforms now either has my phone number or email for direct communication. My email is also listed in various places for those to get in touch. If I need to speak to someone, I use email or ask Ian (he knows everyone). It isn’t immediate gratification, but the conversations and information is deeper. I would rather someone take an extra day or two (or a week!) and provide something substantial than something faster but more blunt. Has it been hard? I didn’t have an addiction, so I’m sure it could have been harder. But largely I’ve forgotten about checking various platforms and when I do check a platform (I only use Twitter) I find I can look at it for 5 minutes and then be done and off. My attention for other things is deeper as are my thoughts and quiet time.

Plus, I’m reading TWO BOOKS at once which I haven’t done in a very long time!

So…how’s training going?

Feels good man. I just love running.