if i could say thank you...

…it’s goodbye for now.

Four months ago, I got health news that shocked me.

Three months ago I applied to grad school.

Two months ago, I accepted.

One month ago I moved to Greeley.

This week I am saying goodbye to Skratch and living in Boulder. For now.

I never thought I’d write this. I thought I’d work for Skratch Labs, in some capacity, forever. The company values, the people, the clientele, are all wonderful, but my time managing the cafe has come to an end. I have accepted a fully funded masters program at the University of Northern Colorado for this fall and have moved Northeast (ironic!) to Greeley, CO. Though it’s only an hour away, it feels too far. This cafe has been the best thing about Colorado; I would never have moved here if not for a LinkedIn post, a Zoom interview, and the opportunity to create the first endurance sports cafe in the world. Employees at Skratch are there to help you be better. By doing so, we become better ourselves. I can 100% say that has been true for me.

When I got the MRI that I had broken my pelvis, and the subsequent DEXA scan, I sort of fell apart. Suddenly everything hurt. My chest, my breasts, my feet, my head. I spiraled into a pit of Google Scholar, WebMD and emailing every lab in the country that worked on bone. I had doctor’s appointments, appointments with my PT, my dietician, all to somehow convince myself I didn’t just step one foot in the grave. I did not fear returning to run, or compete ever again. That was a forgone conclusion in my life, I was already crippled. I started wondering how many other health markers I’d ignored, how fragile the rest of my body is. After a few weeks of crying, being in pain, and leaning so heavily on Aaron, Nicki and their perfect 4-year old daughter Frances for hugs and love, I started to see some healing progress, and decided if there wasn’t enough health information out there for me I wanted to be in the arena doing the science to understand. That’s still the plan…sort of.

During the healing process, I limped around work a lot. I had also cut my exercise so I had more time to think. I remember a moment at work where I was trying to move something and a stab of pain just hit me right in the pelvis. WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING!?! I screamed internally. This is not going to heal nor will it stop happening if I continue to move my body in the same way. It’s not about running, it’s about life and the cards I’ve been dealt right now, which are kind of shitty, but manageable.

In my research (panicked, but determined) I started thinking about what I would do if I couldn’t walk anymore. I love Skratch Cafe so much, it hurt to even put the “grad school bone research” into the search bar. I felt like I was cheating on Aaron to be honest, so I kept it pretty quiet. I care so much about what we’ve built and love that I see his family everyday, I didn’t want him to worry (it’s his toxic trait) especially with the Olympics coming up. I also was thinking more in terms of Fall 2025, it being May and deadlines for applications long past. One of the labs that came up (yes, I just Googled it, nothing fancy) was an inflammation lab run by Dr. Nicholas Pullen at the University of Northern Colorado. His was one of many I looked into and had meetings with the admissions department. I was doing this to figure out what courses or lab work I’d need to accomplish this next year to put myself in the best position to get accepted. He and I ended up hitting it off very well and I got really lucky; some funding had opened up two weeks before, so if I wanted to speed up my timeline, I could go this year for free. If I wanted to teach, UNCO would pay me.

WHAT. That’s THREE MONTHS AWAY.

I applied, freaked out, then went to NY for a well deserved vacation from running and thinking about the future. When I got home, I was accepted…and I accepted back. Then freaked out for a week before getting up the courage to tell Aaron (after consulting with Nicki on how to do so). He was predictably sad and excited for me exclaiming I KNEW YOU WERE HIDING SOMETHING! He and Nicki made the most challenging part of this whole ordeal a lot more comfortable than I was expecting. I think I hid it because I did not want this to prevent him from going to France, and I knew if he had too long to worry about it, he cares so much for this cafe, he might have made the decision not to go. Thankfully the brain acrobatics I did worked and he went to Paris helping USA cycling bring home a few medals (Aaron cooked for them, he is still training for knife-throwing at LA 2028).

Since the announcement, I have received nothing but congratulations from everyone and for that I am grateful. My hope is that no one notices my absence at the cafe because I have trained and done my job so well. I have full confidence that it will continue to thrive and when it hits big time I will look fondly back and think hey, I had a part in that! My last day at Skratch may by August 16th, but I will always feel like a part of it in my heart.

What am I doing in Greeley exactly? That’s a great question and honestly, there are still some unknowns. The program I am in is a master’s in biological sciences with thesis, meaning I get to do my own research project. The lab I am working in is an inflammation lab studying mast cells, inflammation in autoimmunity and cancer, and the immune system response to cancer. We also work pretty closely with the exercise physiology department understanding the anti (and pro) inflammatory effects of cancer on disease and how the nutritional supplement berberine impacts the inflammatory response. It’s a lot and I don’t know exactly what I will be doing, so like most things I’ll just jump in and hopefully not accidentally release COVID-20. The thing I am most excited about is the teaching component. In order to get paid (and survive) I will be TAing the anatomy and physiology class. I would like to thank Nerd Ninja on Youtube for the crash refresher courses I’ve been taking this past month, if I do this well it is in large part to you sir.

That’s about it for now. I have started running again and forgot how tired it makes me some days. I am really looking forward to doing my training and then sitting all day, letting my body recover and rebuild. If I were to list all the people I will miss seeing everyday, this would read like an obituary so just know I am so thankful for all of you. Thank you for coming to my group runs. Thank you for asking about me (even when I didn’t want to talk about it). Thank you for making my days lively and pepping me up when I needed it. I promise I will be back most weekends to visit and eat WITH YOU at the cafe. You are what has made Boulder what it is for me.

Until the next time, see you at Skratch :)