Running...it's Fun

I’ve had periods in my life when running wasn’t fun. I wasn’t enjoying myself much, things hurt a bit and my fitness just wasn’t there. Looking back, I can now see reasons why.

I was forcing it.

I was trying to fit myself into a box. I only trail run. I only run ultras. I only live this dirtbag lifestyle. I was to do all the tough races. I have to do the most epic races. I have to keep up. If I can’t be the fastest, I can do tougher races.

I was injured.

It’s my shoes. It’s the road. It’s this. It’s that. I must maintain my fitness. It’s only a niggle. The feeling that I could break on each run. Hope it doesn’t happen today.

I was overtrained.

Tiredness is just part of the game. I only sleep 7 hours a night. I have a tough job. I’m supposed to feel like this. This is what it means to be serious. Real runners tough it out.

Not all these things at once of course, but each in their own time or a combination of them. These things aren’t fun. It’s not easy nor authentic to force my sport. Some days I wondered if I’d ever get into a better cycle.

The effortless runs. The hard but fun workouts. Feeling powerful. Feeling strong.

Why were they alluding me? How do I get that feeling I know is there?

Turns out, I had to go all in. I had to believe in more food, more rest and more sleep. I decided to make a change. Instead of doing more workouts to prove my strength, I took a different approach. I made sure I recovered from every run. I ate more than I “should have to”. I slept more than “was recommended”. I said no to anything I “felt obligated to do”.

The first few weeks, breaking old patterns, remembering to just enjoy the downtime, felt weird. I usually like to be occupied. Would I lose my edge? Is this same quality that keeps me a focused runner also the one that helps me get shit done in my job? Would I lose my motivation to do anything at all?

Turns out, no I wouldn’t. Turns out I’d recover from workouts ready to run again the next day. I’d feel great during the day, happy to be at work and focused in the moment. Turns out running would become even more fun. Turns out being fit and enjoying it is really fun. It’s fun to race and express my fitness. It’s fun to use the power and strength I have. It’s fun to look forward to doing the work.

I don’t have to do the toughest races, because I don’t feel like I don’t measure up.

I don’t have to ignore injuries because they haven’t been a problem.

I don’t have to run tired because I’m not overtrained.

I don’t have to be inauthentic because I’m not.

I’m just me. I love running. Running is fun. Here’s hoping it’s fun for a long, long time.