Consistently Flexible
I am under no delusion that suddenly everything in the world is fixed. There is so much work still to be done, many people will die, it will be a rough road.
But the New Year is another benchmark. I find it comforting to look ahead to certain dates or events and believe things could be better by then.
In early November it was Biden’s election.
A step forward.
A vaccine.
One step closer.
The New Year, only 20 days left of trump.
Inching forward.
January 20th, ok now at least America has a chance.
April, maybe I’ll be vaccinated.
June, maybe I’ll be at a race.
Things to help me see a path forward. These events are the glimmers of the light at the end of the tunnel. I do not want to go back to what was normal. I want better. I can see better. It is coming.
We’ve got a long way to go. A tough winter here in the Northeast. But we’re inching our way toward a better tomorrow. We’ve got a fighting chance.
I can’t believe it’s been 10 months since the Olympic Trials. It doesn’t feel like that happened this year. I think my sentiments echo in the heads of my competitors. But it did. Women showed up for each other this year, and I could not be more proud.
Aliphine, Molly and Sally will all be going to Tokyo, to represent us in the Olympics, hopefully THIS YEAR.
Mary Cain and Lindsay Crouse blew the doors off NOP and he-who-must-not-be-named, igniting a storm of women ready to fight against their abusers and open up about their self-image.
Alison Felix and Kara Goucher helped prohibit brands from penalizing women for having children.
Sara Hall and Kiera D’Amato hit peak pandemic fitness proving what is possible with consistency and positivity.
Mirna Valerio continued to show that race, gender and size do not matter and should not prevent anyone from enjoying our sport. She also began to directly educate us all about race.
So many other amazing women doing amazing things, pandemic or not. This past year solidified my commitment to my fellow females and took away any doubts I had about my own potential.
I can always work on myself. There is always something new to try, a way to work harder or something I can do to expand my self-imposed limits.
This year I also had to work very hard at being still. I had to be comfortable staying home and not busy. I taught myself not to go anywhere. I learned to love a phone call or email again. I learned to take my time in creative projects because I had a ton of extra time to make it work.
I got comfortable being bored. I found something else to fill that time and sometimes it was just sitting with my eyes closed or staring into space. I got used to the quiet. I started reading deeply again. I began to manage my finances closely and cut out things that didn’t make sense. I accepted that I would lose touch with people for a time, and that eventually they would come back. I tried really hard not to be so hard on myself.
I felt all the shitty feelings, until I was tired of it and somehow found a way out.
I am able to talk about a shitty situation without having it ruin my whole day.
I can stop myself from getting too caught in the news and give myself a break no matter how “important” it is to stay up to date.
I still laugh, behind my mask.
I still run, sometimes fast.
I still eat, and I enjoy that.
2020 taught me to enjoy simple pleasures more fully.
Open mind, open heart was my phrase for 2020.
2021 my phrase is “Consistently flexible”.
Keep showing up, ready to adapt if necessary.
